I want to thank God for my couch.

I was reclining on it this morning and realized I was taking my outstretched position for granted since just about a year ago my home sitting options included the floor and a resourceful chair concoction made of two parts over-sized pillow and one part large Tupperware storage container.

It was a year ago in May that I moved into my current apartment.  And the year prior to that was one of those life-shifting years, and by life shifting I mean like tectonic plates shifting, like a major earthquake that destroys most of the existing infrastructure in the surrounding area.  I don’t mean to be overly dramatic, but pretty much everything I thought to be true about my life collapsed and disappeared.  Including my furniture. So, when I moved into my apartment in May of 2010, there was much that needed to be rebuilt.

There is a lot I can say about the good God has done in my life in the wake of this shift, but I only have a few minutes to share, so I will keep it to a well-constructed metaphor about furniture.   For a month and a half my roommate and I watched Sex in the City DVDs on her analog television and took turns sitting on the Tupperware chair, until finally we found a free Saturday to make a pilgrimage to Ikea and I bought my own couch.  My pastor preached a sermon a couple of weeks ago about cornerstones, and in many ways I feel like that couch is the cornerstone of my new life. (I mean the physical cornerstone, of course Jesus is my spiritual cornerstone, but Jesus gave me this couch, through the blessing of the VISA corporation.)

In the last year, mostly due to the commitment of my wonderful roommate, the couch has been joined by the likes of a TV that can connect to a cable outlet, a coffee table that we bought from our neighbor with the cute puppy, wall art from talented people like Rob Barnickel.  I finally brought my books out of storage.  My dear friends who have walked alongside me during this tough season came over and painted the walls and gave me plants, that grow fruit, that I can eat!   My roommate’s mother sewed us throw pillows to gussy up trusty old couch.  That couch was the cornerstone that built my apartment into a home I didn’t even know that I needed.

Like I said, God has done much in my life through this time of suffering.  He has blessed me in profound ways, when he could get a word edgewise between my wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Compared to lessons of his loving kindness and the power of fellowship, things like coffee tables and books seem almost not worth talking about.   But what I feel like I have learned about joy is that, for me, it is only when it gets really dark that I can understand the beauty of a dim light.  It is only when it is sooo dark, that I am forced to slow down and take solace in what is right in front of me, instead of wasting all my energy worrying about what I may or may not see on the horizon.  In the dark I had to seek God’s guidance, I had no other option, so now as he brings me back into the light I can see it as God’s grandeur.

www.christmasishappening.com

There is a lot I could say about the thoughts that expand my uninterrupted mind.  Or the experiences  that fill my empty spaces.  But today I am simply thankful that in this day and age jokes from a far can fly through the air from places like Minnesota and California and appear at my finger tips.  I’m thankful that my whole family decorated my parents Christmas tree together despite sitting in four different living rooms in four different states.  I’m thankful that the main lessons I have learned about Christmas have come through long questioning emails from wine country and Amish country alike.

And there is a post yet to be written about my growing conviction that globalization through technology is taking a terrible toll on the world’s weakest members.  How this conviction is starting to confuse me every time I pick up my computer.  But I guess that just highlights the tension of Advent.  Waiting for the good that is coming.  Wrestling with longing for something whole.  Knowing that life is always many things at once.

Sounds hilarious.  In reality it is hilarious.  But in surreality it was disturbing and dark.  Similar to The Deathly Hallows Part One, Voldemort was stalking down Harry to maim and torture.  And true to Potter mythology, in the dream I was in the head of both Harry and Voldemort, so I woke up with the harrowing omniscience of being the Hunter and the Hunted.

This dream disappointed me so much because I had a good week!  I’ve been dancing and laughing and writing.  I’ve lived a couple of special moments.  So, why couldn’t that keep the demons at bay?  How could they creep so easily out of my subconscious in the darkness of night? When will Voldemort and I have our final showdown?

I don’t know.  But I walked out into a beautiful day.  Sunny and warm.  Birds still chirping on the first day of winter.  Today is the Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year, and while it will be months before I am sipping a beer at 8pm to the setting sun, starting tomorrow the light is only going to get longer.

First we brought down the house rocking out the best xylephone-tambourine duet to Billy Jean ever heard.  Then we jumped in leaves.  Then he took a two-hour nap and I got to read my book (Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling, my new best friend).  If only my life was easier, I’d be a happier person.

Ultimately, I think the best medicine was a little time and attention.  Whenever she curls up next to me on the couch there are these three roles of fur that bunch up against her little face.  It’s one of my favorite things to look at in the whole world.

Thank God for dancing.

We Found Love ~ Rihanna

It surprises me how happy this makes me. But it is palpable. Glittery nails with a perfect birthday mantra for this Lady whose heart is still too young to consider giving up such things.