I am excited for 2012 because, well, 2011 was really hard on me. But in the last twelve months I have grown a few spiritual inches and develop a few more heart muscles and tended to a few dreams that I think might bud in 2012. I wanted to share with you this thing I wrote for my church last summer. It’s about me and joy. Thank you for being such a tremendous support to me, at the moment I feel a little overwhelmed by it all. I wish you all a very joyful New Year! Brook does too.
I want to thank God for my couch.
I was reclining on it this morning and realized I was taking my outstretched position for granted since just about a year ago my home sitting options included the floor and a resourceful chair concoction made of two parts over-sized pillow and one part large Tupperware storage container.
It was a year ago in May that I moved into my current apartment. And the year prior to that was one of those life-shifting years, and by life shifting I mean like tectonic plates shifting, like a major earthquake that destroys most of the existing infrastructure in the surrounding area. I don’t mean to be overly dramatic, but pretty much everything I thought to be true about my life collapsed and disappeared. Including my furniture. So, when I moved into my apartment in May of 2010, there was much that needed to be rebuilt.
There is a lot I can say about the good God has done in my life in the wake of this shift, but I only have a few minutes to share, so I will keep it to a well-constructed metaphor about furniture. For a month and a half my roommate and I watched Sex in the City DVDs on her analog television and took turns sitting on the Tupperware chair, until finally we found a free Saturday to make a pilgrimage to Ikea and I bought my own couch. My pastor preached a sermon a couple of weeks ago about cornerstones, and in many ways I feel like that couch is the cornerstone of my new life. (I mean the physical cornerstone, of course Jesus is my spiritual cornerstone, but Jesus gave me this couch, through the blessing of the VISA corporation.)
In the last year, mostly due to the commitment of my wonderful roommate, the couch has been joined by the likes of a TV that can connect to a cable outlet, a coffee table that we bought from our neighbor with the cute puppy, wall art from talented people like Rob Barnickel. I finally brought my books out of storage. My dear friends who have walked alongside me during this tough season came over and painted the walls and gave me plants, that grow fruit, that I can eat! My roommate’s mother sewed us throw pillows to gussy up trusty old couch. That couch was the cornerstone that built my apartment into a home I didn’t even know that I needed.
Like I said, God has done much in my life through this time of suffering. He has blessed me in profound ways, when he could get a word edgewise between my wailing and gnashing of teeth. Compared to lessons of his loving kindness and the power of fellowship, things like coffee tables and books seem almost not worth talking about. But what I feel like I have learned about joy is that, for me, it is only when it gets really dark that I can understand the beauty of a dim light. It is only when it is sooo dark, that I am forced to slow down and take solace in what is right in front of me, instead of wasting all my energy worrying about what I may or may not see on the horizon. In the dark I had to seek God’s guidance, I had no other option, so now as he brings me back into the light I can see it as God’s grandeur.
Tags: good god, heart muscles
